(2) Dreams: Dec 5 2008

Lost in Bliss

Swimming in an undending sea of bliss in a shallow self aware sleep of black nothingness filled with occasional faint green symbols that I cannot describe.  In and out of sleep a few times.

Brain Meat Causes and an Old Man

A dream about causes of things that are painful now, (mostly nothing specific that can be put in words) sensations, and sense of understanding.  A big round lump of pinky-brown brain like matter that feels extremely repulsive and unhealthy, an invisible line of effect leading to me right now. I hold the lump for a moment it feels sticky, like a clump of rotten meat, unhealthy and repulsive.  I don’t want to touch it again.

I sit at a table.  The Other is on the opposite side, he’s showing me something.  Beside me is an old disfigured man his skin is wrinkled as if it was a callus and he is bent and filled with anger and resentment.  He’s nasty and wants to make fun of me, and bends down to the ground and grovels and looks like he’s cleaning or kissing the ground.  I know he wants me to feel embarrased and conflicted about what I did in the past.

I did what I thought was right, and I had courage to open myself to ridicule to do it.  I came clean and told everyone there is nothing to be embarrased about, what have you done old man?  He is defeated and slinks away and disappears.  I feel proud and happy of my courage.

The Other points out those that will try to obstruct or try to get in my way.  I leave knowing I should keep an eye out.

Cigaret Lady and New Ferraris

I’m off to find someone, she’s in a bar or a dark busy place which feels like a restaurant or a bar.  She is thin and tall and attractive, has a panache to it but I know most of it is an act.  She has a cigarrete in her lips even though she doesn’t smoke, it’s all for show.  She juggles it from her heel to her mouth as she walks through the bar.  I like her alot and she’s attractive but there is no sense of attachment or desire.

I’m beside her now and there is two guys here that want to bother us.  They both are dressed in ‘hipster’ style but mostly they look really funny and hillarious to me.  One has a cigarrete in his mouth and wants to stab us with it in his hand.  The other one is grey, heavy and dull.  I barely notice him he’s dangerous but unimportant.  I remember what the Other said so I carefuly watch them and don’t make a move while remaining neutral.  I pick her up  and carry her away.  Feeling of gratefulness, her body is light, short black miniskirt and black shiney heels, friendship and wanting to protect her.

We leave the club place through the back door, I want to sneak out before those guys get a chance to do something sneaky.  Yellow ferrari or lamborghini at the front it’s mine and I get in while backing away from the direction the danger is in.  I know we have to leave quickly before they find a chance to get to us so I start driving away.

Row rumble of a powerful engine of the expensive sports car, everything here is luxurious and comfortable, I don’t know how to drive this thing well the gears or clutch are way too sensitive. I backup slowly, sensation of them changing things so I rear end a wall.  I carefully back up over the sidewalk waching most carefully for any obstructions.  Way out is open I drive out carefully because I don’t want the engine to stall, that would be very bad.

Carefully, slowly, with small hiccups, we leave.  No need to be perfect, just safe.