(1) Dreams: Dec 4 2008

Coffin Particle Flyer

I’m standing on a bridge talking to someone male, tall and fairly young.  He has blond slightly curly hair that also feels straight and we stand on a stone bridge above a fast moving train.  He’s very knowledgeable and trying to explain something hard to understand to me.

He’s telling me how the center of the mind is a particle moving-accelerator that simply has to be directed to warp along to the destination.  To demonstrate he lightly leaps off the stone bridge into the deadly fast moving trains but instead of falling to his death he flies off on a coffin under the bridge and up and above.  He comes back wearing black clothes.

Driving with the Green Guy

I begin a dream of driving in a very richly colored dream, I watch the scenery flow by me and before me is a green colored head of a being that makes me feel very unsettled and strange in the stomach.  He’s grinning and friendly though and I know he’s a friend trying to teach me something.  I become perfectly aware that this is a dream and try not to think about it since I know I’ll wake up.

I keep driving with tightly focused attention looking at him, at which point he wags his eyesbrows and blinks, I blink back and grin because I responded to him.  I lose mindfulness and the dream falls away.

Driving Take Two

It’s my turn to try what I just did again, from somewhere black and deep a dream of driving a car appears.  It’s a car that looks like Fiat 126 from poland, the back is white with very red blinkers.  I’m focusing on being relaxed and not developing any thoughts so that the dream can really set in.  I’m aware that this is a dream and it becomes more and more real, I am the dream.

I’ve driven to Winnipeg and I see that the Mohawk gas station and many of the stores are gone.  Everything here is small and like it used to be long time ago.  I turn into Jefferson and go home but end up somewhere else in the snow.  I’m going somewhere else.

We’re in an older polish town, feels like Wadowice perhaps but also feels like Main St. in Winnipeg in full bloom of summer.  We’re walking down main St. towards Crystal’s house, on the way we pass a brewey-bar full of older polish man dressed in 50-60s style clothing.  They are friendly almost like they know me, and I say hello in comfortable well known manner.  As we walk out I have a beer in my hand, one of the man offered it to us on the way out but I didn’t pay.

I consider just walking away lucky, but that’s not right they meant us to pay for it.  I go back and pay leaving a 10cent tip which is unnecessary but it makes me feel good.  We leave and the Other drinks the beer?

We get to the goal which feels sexy and friendly, feels like Crystal’s place.

How to Toss a Hoe out the Door

We’re somewhere that feels safe and homelike, a feeling of Crystal being there but also two of her friends.  One feels like Alicia, she’s a bit chunky and loud the other one is a friend of Alicia, somewhat attractive but not very.  The atmosphere is stuffy, sticky and confusing.  We’re laying a dirty mattress, Alicia’s friend wants me, and I want to fuck Alicia.

Feeling of sexual pleasure and stickiness, I stick my cock in Alicia’s friend or Alicia remembering to put on a rubber since she’s a dirty hoe that sleeps with anyone.  I enjoy the sensations for a while a feeling of arousal and bliss of group sex but mixed with stickiness and ashtray like sensation.

A feeling of a day after, or laterness.  We’re sitting around talking all three of us:  Crystal, Alicia and her Friend.  Alicia says something that betrays her intentions to take advantage, lie and decieve, backstab.  She lied about wanting to make love with us, or did it for dark-harmful reasons to us?  I become angry at her decietfulness and betrayal and grab her by her hair.  It’s blond and curled at the top, I drag her out of the apartment and throw her out the door.  She’s almost naked and it’s cold and winterlike outside.

I consider leaving her out there like that, but that’s not right.  I collect her things in a plastic bag and opening the door hand it to her.  I feel sadness and correctness.

Window Breaker

We’re outside the apartments in Kety weight training.  My friend who feels like someone who is a friend but part of me wants to compete with him is lifting weights too.  We trade various weights and have fun joking and helping each other as we weight lift.

Different game, we’re on a grassy part of the place before the apartements.  It’s sunny and the feel of the wind and day is that of a warm lazy sunny day.  The point of the game is to kick the soccer ball through the two fence posts before us.  I try it and the ball rolls away too fast from me to kick it well.  It doesn’t fly very straight.  My view point shifts and I watch the person ahead of me doing it noticing the right and wrong things.

I carefully drop the ball and kick it a bit to move it up without it rolling away from me too fast.  The idea is to not use alot of force and kick it lightly otherwise it rolls away very fast, and because I have to run after it I cannot plant a good kick.  I approach the place where I have to kick and make sure I’m on the right footing so I can kick it well.  I remember to curl my toes up, and to kick with the special place on the shoe where it’s flattened and meant to kick.

The ball flies pretty good right through where it should and hits the far wall.  It was a good kick a bit too strong and not perfect flying.  I need more practice but it was good.  I’m really happy and proud and I go away to my apartment for a while to be really happy.

My friend from the playground enters and says that they broke a window playing with the soccer ball.  The guy who’s window it is is mad and someone has to pay.  I tell him it’s no problem I’ll cover it (I have insurance?) and I’ll go talk to him.

I walk down and around the apartement block ahead of mine and check out the damage.  An image of a broken apartement window flies through my mind with big sheets of window damage and damage inside the house, but in actuallity the broken window is in a door leading into the apartements.  The door is mahogany wood with slits of glass, one of them is broke where the ball hit with chunks of glass laying around.

The guy who lives there is very angry and I’m slightly scared, but I made a promise so I go to his place.

Eye Poker

I stand before his place which is very open with a white board in the back covered in color-marker drawings and paintings.  There are very powerful words and books around it and as I look at it a horror movie begins playing.

A boy is sitting taped to a chair, while a man before him in a strange metal mask around his bottom part of the face scares him to death by making it look like he’s putting a shard of broken glass into his (the man’s) eye.  The shard never touches the man’s eye but the boy thinks that it’s ripping right through, and more importantly he’s scared to death because it feels like it’s his eye.

I stand before the blackboard again, thinking about what I just watched.  It doesn’t make sense somehow.  Why would the man be trying to scare the kid?  And why hasn’t the kid caught on that he’s not doing anything?  It was an illusion, something about the metal handkerchief on the man’s mouth covered in colored patterns?

Kevin is here, I’m slightly scared and surprised to see him (was he the man from the horror part?).  For some reason I say ‘that’s some very interesting writting you have around here’ meaning around the white board.  I tell him because I want him to know I saw something he was supposed to keep hidden.  The white board is now covered only in the pretty patterns as before, red, blue connecting like ripples of water.  The books and things around the whiteboard are gone.  I get lost in the beauty of the whiteboard patterns.