(1) Dreams: Nov 21 2008

Nightmare on Dowd Street

We’re travelling down towards something, Sunny is here with me and it feels like he’s leading us.  I can feel the destination being uncomfortable there is a strong feeling that we are heading towards things that are uncomfortable or I’m afraid off.  I’m not scared, I simply know this is not going to be pleasant.

We pass by a large cement canal-entrance down into a deep water dam like concrete installation.  An impression of darkness and water being churned by hidden and dangerous machines.  Fear of falling in, being drowned and trapped in darkness of underwater tunnels where water churns and flows through.  An old fear from a book long ago.

We’re standing before an opened manhole, slimy and dirty leading far down into the tight darkness lined with sewege an slime.  We’re going to fall in now, and be trapped in smelly darkness surrounded by filth only to be lost forever in the excrement and tight spaces of deep plumbing.  Darkness, slime and tightness, feeling of calustrophobia.  We fall in, feeling of weightlessness sets in. Dark tightness.

Underground cement maze of bunkers.  It smells of warm cement here, much like the cellars of the apartment I used to live in.  This feels like an old WWII bunker though, the place makes my body tingle with bad vibes.  Memory of visiting the Auswitch tortue cells, gray depression and despair with black cables running along the walls buzzing with electricity.  I stare straight ahead into the long underground tunnel as the electrical humming gets louder.  To the left of me an open room where something horrible is happening, I want to look but someone tells me to stare straight ahead instead.  The end of the tunnel rushes at me.

Square darkness with impression of walls, there is no way out of here but up above where dark rusty catwalks are.  We have to climb out of here, that’s the only way.  I grasp the ladder above me and begin to climb up with determination.  Suddenly I know he is here, the sense of evil opressing presence as usual, but this time I’m not scared.  A dark silghoutte holds the end of the ladder, its Freddy Krueger with his hat, but the face is a black outline hidden in the shade.  I challenge him: ‘Let me through!’ he just grins but I’m not scared, just a feeling of wrathfulness.

We’re somewhere lighter now, it feels like an open space but lined with walls.  My friends are here and I warn them that he’s in me and he wants to come out.  Blackness bleeds out of my skin it’s full of sparkling stars,  I wonder if I’m going to grow a bladed glove.  My fingers twich and dance a fearful and somehow insectoid like dance as sparkling darkness envelops them.  A feeling of maliciousness and dread fills me and I gesture with my arms trying to throw all of it on my friends with malice.  I didn’t want to do this and feel helpless.  He’s almost out so we can battle him.

Square arena with tall walls, a prison with no way out.  I’m here with my friends we’re going to take him down but I know its tricky because he wants us to fight him.  He appears before me, there is no clear impression of face simply fearful energy, malicious and wrathful feeling all wrapped into one. I know he wants to torture me here and I yell as I ask why, I tell him I love him and want to know why he wants to do it.  He’s confused, resisting, I suddenly feel like we’re in control, he want to flee.

I grab hold of him, he’s a huge pink-red balloon of bloated skin and he wants to fly away, I yell to others to keep him trapped and surrounded and corrdinate with someone close to me to keep him grounded as I claw away at the bloated balloon ripping fleshy shreds out of it and letting the air out.  He’s scared now, and wants to desperatly to get away, to come back later after he’s recovered, that’s not an option.  I pin him with my whole body and we control and surround him as I let more air out of it.

The big fleshy-pink ballon that was Freddy Krueger suddenly shrinks, deflates and becomes a tiny pink thing like a peon piece in chess.  I grasp it firmly and squeeze it into my belly and lay there exhausted as I wake up.

Crazy Highway Driving

We’re in a white crown victoria driving somewhere, an older lady is here as well as Ben.  He’s driving and it feels like we’re in a hurry without being in a hurry.  The road ahead is a huge multi-lane highway.  Ben jumps the curve and hops over into the opposing lane traffic weaving madly between oncoming traffic.  I’m scared in a strange way, I think he’s not supposed to do it it’s dangerous we could damage the cars.  He rides halfway onto the cement meridian that is the leftmost end of the highway and narrowly misses a car that feels just like ours.

We drive away from the highway and I see cops in the distance pass us, I wish that they pulled us over so Ben would get a ticket for that crazy driving.  Instead we arrive somewhere that has lots of people, things happen there but I don’t remember what.